10 June 2016

Fuel your desire with a purpose higher than your ownself,

So I Sat down today for an amazing exercise
Few things have been troubling me for quite some time now....
I have been unsuccessful at coping with my plans for a few months now , and so I have been meaning to set up a review of my performance for myself ..
i wanted to sit down and evaluate as to what is going wrong and how to fix my plans so that they start falling into place , and i start knocking those todos off my check list ....

how ever the review day came and it went
then other days came , and they went by too
and then the entire week went by
and then other weeks flew by too , and before you knew it the month had come to almost its end , when i realized ,I still haven't been able to get myself to do the stupid review ...
i have been meaning to fix a schedule for myself,
a system ,
a daily routine
and a monthly routine
and then a yearly routine

which is flexible enough to accomodate , my mood swings and the unknown nature of the wicked life.
All this to achieve harmony and equilibrium in life , which i thought would be my  strong basis  and solid foundation, which will serve as my biggest modus operandi (like a successful weapon ) to achieve my targets (which i didn't even bother to completely understand what they were ).

I wasn't like this you know

I remember a time when in my mind there was never a thing i couldn't do in a day
If you would have asked me back then
How much time would it take for me to make an app
I'd say a day , two at the max,
and even though it would in reality take longer for me back then as well to complete the shit i promised in a day , no matter how herculean the task , i would normally knock it out of the park by the end of week for sure

A week is a huge amount of time really ,
one can actually move a mountain in a week ....
if you really get yourself going at a job , a week can seem like enetrnity

but some how i have come to become this , this unproductive slot and probably the only difference between me back then and me now is , me back then was doing shit he wanted to do
I was a very radical person just 5 year back
I was full of magical potential , and a sense of enthusiasm that would make you feel like i could fix any thing in the world
I never used to chase money , and felt like people who did compete in the rat race are such mortal fools , and that one must pursue his dreams and passions , and everything else will follow .

While i still hold the belief system , 5 years of continuous struggling, while rendering me wealthy ,  did take a toll on my upright and radical self .

the constant fighting to earn my place in the world showed me , how difficult earning money actually is , or at least tricked my mind into believing so ...and so some how i became fearful and conscious of all of the people around me , and how far ahead or back in the wealth chart i was when compared to the rest of the world ... money now not only represented means of getting what i wanted , it also meant a measure of my success . how much money i earned in comparison to how much money other people my age around me earned was also a measure of respect other people show you ..
and so grew a fear in me ....
a fear of being left behind ...
a fear of not being able to catch up with my colleagues or friends , if i didn't keep up the struggle , even though i was earning a moolah , (at least i would say i was earning a moolah , much more than what i required ..)
and so even though staying true to my beliefs in my mind , i acted against them , and as a result , had ended up running the rat race , without me knowing that fact that i had and i thought i had quit it when i left my job ,
but i was wrong
I was still competing
I was still comparing
still fear full that i will start to lag behind others
fear full that i would have to do it all over again ,
still wanting to earn more than any other person i knew ,
and so still doing things just to earn money .
not to make a difference any more
not to fix actual problems
and that is the reason why i was unable to be as productive as i was before
i was not being true to myself , and was not doing things that i wanted to do instead, was doing things out of fear , and this had gone so far out that  by now
i didn't even knew any more what i actually wanted
all i knew to desire now was money ....

your hearts are like that..
If you stop listening to them they stop beating for you ..!!(they still beat , just not for you

and these chain of thoughts made me realize , i had completely lost it .
I had lost my self ,
and so i needed to find what i wanted again
It doesn't start with the modus operandi ...
It starts with what you want ,
what you want to change in the world
what value you wish to bring to the world
which problems you wish to fix in the world
what you want your legacy to be..
your personal legend

and here i was back again
suddenly i found my self grabbing my laptop
and creating a new blank spread sheet that said
10 year plan
What do i want

and i asked my self
what are the things i want ,for my self
and what are the things i wish to have achieved for my self by the time next 10 years end

and suddenly my juices started flowing ....(when was the last time you saw me write an actual post ?).

n e wayz i came up with this list

A house at

nariman point or
bandra bandstand or
worli sea face or
goa or
san fransisco california or
canada or
sydney or
At All These Places
jet pack or flying car which ever is valid by the time
best laptop ever
a decent enough phone
or porsche
or tesla
a place in the elite to be safe from earth's catastrophe
Celebrity Status
Success full Writer , who is motivational as well as
has books on which movies have been made , as well
has collumn written by him in daily news papper or
highly successful digital publication
owner of a very successfull production house , and vfx
technological company , that doesn't necessarily
restrict it self to Information Technology
Politcian who is a member of rajya sabha
Mentor / venture captilaist
100 crores in the bank
source of income of about 1 cr/a 

after i was done jotting down everything , i went through the entire list again .....
and to be honest the list sounded  pretty intimidating to me ..
how ever i still had a gut clinching feeling , as to even after all this realization and self corrective measures being take as to i was still being dishonest to my self
as if my brain was once again deceiving me  , into following up things that are un important to me ...
and so i went through the list , and i uncovered another truth about my self
which was , that now that i have cut my unnecessary desire to earn money , the list now of what i want is fueled by yet another evil
it lusts for power ,,,
all the things in the above list are just so that i feel power full enough to tackle any situation

how ever there still isn't any element of fixing things that are wrong with the world
and so ,
u see , the work that elon musk does , or the way he functions ,is beyond pure ...
its almost god like pure , no wonder he is successful at what ever he does ,,
the reason for you to be doing any thing has to be greater .

it has to be greater than yourself ,
you need to have a reason so big , that in times of greatest distress and hardship while pursuing your dreams , you are able to still pull your self through , and which can only happen if your goals and desires and wants are fueled by a purpose higher than yourself
a purpose for greater good ...
and so i might revise the list ... i just needed to share this thought with you guys ....!!


  1. wohhhh!! This got me jump out of my chair this morning!

    1. glad to hear that bro , thie felt good while writing after a long time

  2. some things u should include is ,,,, like .... plant a forest for oxygen ,,,, clean a river to drink water ,,,, farm a land so that one can eat ,,, and educate the mass so that they can help each other .... alll leading to one thing U .... PEACE ... AMAN

    1. all sound great , i shall try and include ...!!

  3. It's a thought... But what u really want should come from what gives you the satisfaction and sense of achievement when u complete that project at hand... If you are not getting that exhilarating feeling of joy on completion you will never feel you have accomplished something for real.. Also what you want in ten years time has to also have realistic achievable goals after measuring ur abilities for the same - like this wise say Dream Big.. To fulfill bigger dreams.. But action plan to achieve the same is the key to fulfilling the has to aim at achieving Balance

  4. This was a fantastic read. I've reached this point several times. And everytime I came out of this slack, it kept reminding me of the times I was completely lost, directionless and chasing things that were not really important in the larger scheme of things. Good luck to you in finding all that you are looking for!


so ...wat do u think ...??
was it worth the effort